the buff

hey guys

i know it seems early in the morning, 630 by your time, and 530 by ours, but this is so holyshit that it requires immediate blagging on my part.

so im sound asleep in my bottom bunk, opposite the wall from the nice and comfy arm chair, which i now vacate is i blag this. but anyway, im asleep in my cot, when i hear ricky calling my name in a bordering frantic voice. i was ripped from my dream state, staring up at the metal grid of the top bunk, which i soon realized was occupied by diana, which makes sense because thats where she was when i fell asleep.

again ricky called my name, so i vocalized, giving him my status and, more importantly, as i would soon find out, my location. which, for the record, is firmly in my cot. there seemed to be some confusion about where diana was. he kept calling diana in an escalating tone of alarm, until diana finally responded, above me, also giving ricky her status, and location...

ricky lays back down in bed somewhat satisfied, and then sits up again and says, 'wait, jake, you're in bed, right?'

so i says, 'yeah. why?'

'so who's that?'

i turn.

'o shit.'

its dark in the 530 light, so i cant completely make it out. but eventually, i can see a human figure, furled on the chair against the wall opposite me. ricky stands and looks into mbs bunk.

'is mb there?' says i.

ricky ignores me, and like a fucking man walks over and flips the light on.

from my cot, the room snaps into focus. the yellow walls stretch up to a turquoise ceiling. bags and clothes and flipflops are strewn about the floor. the naked man is sitting in the armchair, legs over one side, and head cocked into the contemplative pose. ricky, who is now standing next to this man, and pulling a shirt on, utters the following words.

dude.

youre in my room.

the man seems nonplussed, and says something which i presume to be a parrot of what ricky has said, but merely seems like the incoherent ramblings of a mind in distress.

fuck this.

and ricky leaves the room, shirt now on.

diana awakes, but clearly still thinks that the naked man is me, and is therefore not looking.

'jake. could you turn the light off?'

'no. hell no. nononononono... not with a naked guy in our room.'

'what?'

'i said "not with a naked man in our room"'

diana understands, finally.

the man is still contemplative until he realizes that the hairy one probably left to get help, and the longhaired one is prepping an iphone for picturing purposes, or perhaps the idea gripped him, or maybe the voice told him to go, but for whatever reason, he got up and left in a hurry, but not before your humble author snapped this picture.

at this point, mb awakes, confused, and ricky returns, with deskguy.

first, we celebrated his daring and his cunning, and congratulate him on being vigilant. then, we berate him on failing to secure the door properly before returning from his midnight romp.

well, its now 6 oclock, so i will say, goodnight.

jake